I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
