Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
