it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
