morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize