Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize