I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dick very happy bro
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize