He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
