people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
