I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
