Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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