Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
