i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
