she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Boobs speak an international language.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
