I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
