Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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