before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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