I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
