I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
