I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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