he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Terrible idea I love it
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
