You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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