My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
