i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
