THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
