i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
