Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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