i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
