Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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