so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
