i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
