If that was your dad, he is hot
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
