you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
