Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
