halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
