I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
