My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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