I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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