break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
