I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
