Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
