spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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