The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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