All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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