How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am midnight drunk by noon
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize