I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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