Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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