He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
