we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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