Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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