why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
