Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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