Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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