You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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