Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
