Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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