Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
