Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
