beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
