I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it because I queefed?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
