we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Randomize
