Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
