She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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