I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
