She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
